We can help you...
Decide whether or not to
place your baby for adoption...
Every mother wants the best for her child. A significant
bond is formed during pregnancy. It is only natural that the decision to
place her child for adoption will lead to some painful feelings, for the
mother.
However, these feelings are offset by the peace that comes
from knowing that the child will grow up in a terrific family. Most women
who place their babies believe that others could experience the joy of parenthood.
Although practical considerations also play a part in her
decision, usually it is the welfare of the child that is paramount. Sometimes
family, friends, counselors and clergy help with advice and guidance. Ultimately,
the final choice is the mother's. By making sure that she is in control,
the decision is likely to be a good one -- one that still feels "right"
years later.
Choose the adoptive parents...
Choosing the adoptive parents (or and single adoptive parent)
for a child is a big responsibility and a wonderful opportunity. There are
usually many families ready and willing to adopt a newborn. So, how does
a person decide?
Letters and photographs often serve as an introduction
to a possible adoptive home. Adoptive parents are always anxious and curious
to meet would-be birth parents. Typically, a few phone calls and a meeting
or two are enough for people to know if they "fit".
Get to know the adoptive
family by speaking to them directly, or to remain anonymous...
Occasionally, a woman will want to keep her identity secret
from the adoptive parents. She may also not want to know their names. That
is certainly possible. It will require the help of an intermediary and our
office is always available for that purpose. Most of our clients are willing
to adopt anonymously (through an adoption agency) if the birth mother wishes.
The vast majority of adoptions that we do, however, are
very open. Usually by the time the baby is born, there is a strong bond
between the birth and adoptive parents. They are often together in the hospital
and feel very close to one another.
Keep in touch, or to let
the years go by from a distance...
Once the baby is in the adoptive home, there is a period
of time during which the adoption is not yet legally final. It is not uncommon
for the birth and adoptive parents to keep in touch then and even after
the adoption becomes final. Typically, a plan for ongoing contact is discussed
and arranged in advance. Sometimes letters and photos are exchanged on a
regular basis. Phone calls and visits are not uncommon. The important thing
is that all concerned feel that their wishes are being heard and respected.
In some instances the birth parents feel that the best
way to get on with their lives is to give the adoptive family a great deal
of space. Sometimes it is years before they reconnect; sometimes they stay
apart permanently.
Feel good about your decision.
Our goal is for everyone involved to be able to look back
on their adoption experience as a positive memory. It does usually work
out that way. By listening to the birth parents and being sensitive to their
needs, the adoption plan can be custom-made to suit them.
Birth parents must ask themselves, "What do I really
want?" They need to listen to themselves. Then and only then can they
be sure that years later they will be free of doubts and feel good about
themselves and the child they placed for adoption.
Fill out our on-line Parent Background Information form,
so we can help you better.
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